Life is like carving a pig.

by justbekozlowski

I have been working as a dinner lady at the zoo of late. It is surprisingly fun.

It does have its drawbacks but not through the job’s fault, through my own. I am a vegetarian and so unfortunately I have little to no experience of carving a big slab of roast pork (no experience being bang on the money if we’re being honest).

After much practise and relentless struggling I still can’t do it but it doesn’t really matter. Tomorrow is my last day and if I get complaints (which I haven’t so far because apparantly I have been giving people steaks in their baguettes. (At least I’m not serving vampires)) then I won’t really be bothered. Carving pork just isn’t something that’s important to me.

However, through making countless roast carvery baguettes, I have learned the sacred art of spreading stuffing over bread; a skill desired by few and needed rarely. I am very proud.

Even if I can’t carve a pig as it should be carved, I can spread stuffing and I will hold on to that forever. For there may be a part of my brain that will never let me achieve the grand title of chief carver; due to what has been described as cack-handed knife-work. But every time someone looks at my baguette and thinks, ‘goodness me, this man can’t cut pork’ I know that they are also thinking ‘but by God can the boy spread stuffing’.

So even if you don’t seek to achieve what some people would deem the most important things or skills in life, you will always have your stuffing.

Whether it is egg-rolling, the building and flying of model airplanes, juggling squirrels, shaving tarantulas or dancing gangnam style.

Be brilliant and be proud to be brilliant. Because I guarantee, you are.