Today, like every day other than the days when it doesn’t happen through either a lack of a toothbrush or a lack of a tooth to be brushed; I brushed my teeth.
As I did so I realised that I was crying.
‘How bizarre’, I thought.
I wasn’t in any pain, nor was I upset. Regardless, I continued to brush.
I read once that you are supposed to brush your teeth for the duration of a pop song (I think that’s about two or three minutes but it really does depend on which song you’re using).
It’s not a good method.
It’s even worse for me as I forget the words and then lose track of where in the song I am so normally I sing the first verses of about 3-5 songs depending how adventurous I am feeling.
The obvious solution would be to listen to a song.
I like to sing the songs in my head, sometimes I do a little dance. Sometimes I get carried away and stand too close to the mirror and then toothpaste goes everywhere. You don’t really notice for ages because you’re concentrating so much on the song.
Then you look up.
It’s like you’ve driven a flock of tiny birds up the wall and they’ve pooed on the mirror.
So I was crying.
I forgot to think of a song or three.
I didn’t get any toothpaste on the mirror.
Because I’d put Vick’s on my toothbrush.
It’s not even sold in a toothpaste tube.