These words are the property of clever people. I'm just trying to put them in order.

Month: October, 2013

Catch benty doss.

That’s all the Spanish you’re getting out of me for now.


It has come to my attention that I am in Spain once again and once again I am in Spain.


I am teaching English which is rather irresponsible of me but you have to live a little otherwise you’re just waiting for your next birthday.


So I’m back in Spain and I’m teaching English and I’ve been a busy little man moving around, breathing and speaking to people but sadly the latter is difficult. This is mainly caused by my compulsory French in secondary school. French a language spoken predominantly in France, which isn’t a bad thing but Spanish is a little more versatile.


So I’m learning Spanish. I’m trying really hard. Now I have no Spanish family around me, I have to socialise with Spanish people to get my practice. I also have to learn Spanish relentlessly so I keep having new things to say.


One hour pretty much covers most of what I know how to say. After this point I tend to buy more drinks and point at things before asking how I can say them. The other day a fly landed on my glasses and saved me from an awkward silence. Gracias, mosca.


So catch benty-doss (twenty-two and yes I know it is spelled veinte dos)  is that if I stay in, I learn more Spanish. But I can’t practise unless I go out. So I need to put all the Spanish I can find into my brain before leaving the house every day. It turns out this takes a while and involves a lot of sitting.


Sitting is boring and gives me itchy toes so I’ve started running. Then my toes stop itching and I can sit still. Then I can learn more Spanish.




Unless I’m writing blogs.



Mister Carnivorous

There once was a Mister Carnivorous,

Who was sometimes described as chivalrous,

He ate lots of meat,

And would think it a treat,

But his belly it never did shrivelrous.




Play me a song,

Jangle away,

don’t bang like a drum.

But who am I

to tell you your sound?

You do as you please and bang around.

If that’s what you want,

then be my guest.

Bang like a drum

and show up the rest.




You’re as loud as three cars,

I’m sure I could hear you

from up in the stars.


Tambourine! Tambourine!

follow your dreams,

What others may think doesn’t matter it seems.


Tambourine! Tambourine!

Follow your cymbals,

As you rub them together

Like thumbs in two thimbles.


Tambourine! Tambourine!

I wish you the best

You wondered so far away

from the rest.

You bang like a drum

And sing like a harp.

These things are fantastic,

and set you apart.

Peter the Piper.

Peter the Piper

Had pickled a pepper

But pickles don’t keep in stormy weather.

So the pepper got wet

And Peter did fret

As he watched the pepper

Swim and paddle

Down the road

To a horse with a saddle.

He rode that horse, right into town

and Peter the Piper started to drown.

The pepper rode back

To its pickling friend

He decided to Peter

A hand he’d lend

The pepper pulled Peter

Up onto the horse

And they lived happily

After the flood of course.