These words are the property of clever people. I'm just trying to put them in order.

Month: January, 2014

An afternoon to remember.

You gave your child some coffee,
I waited and I watched,
The clock strike twelve
Releasing hell,
Hickory tickory tock.


Saving for a rainy day.

Betting on weather’s, a dangerous game,
The sun might stay out, or it might run away,
But weather or not, keep your pennies locked up,
Or for each rainy day, put a pound in a cup.

There once was a turnip

There once was a turnip
Who thought it was a monkey.
All of it’s friends said ‘you’re not’

There was one time at night,
He got such a fright when
He noticed he’d started to rot.

Our dearest old friend called sir nippy,
Had shoveled bananas so much,
His hair made of peel,
No rain did he feel,
As he got picked from the ground for my lunch.

Giraffes in a rut

Giraffes in a rut
Will often strut,
Along the boardwalk so fine.

They eat lots of trees
As rain hits their knees
And some might just call this a crime.

As others are smaller,
And sometimes are crawlers
While giraffes have no need to climb.

For many giraffes
Can’t fit in a bath
So they always wash one at a time.

Because it’s not there.

Just because it’s not there,

We don’t have to care,

But we know that we probably should.

We all can ignore,

What’s not at our door,

But that won’t do anyone good.

We don’t always know,

Until we are shown,

That problems exist at all,

Just because we’re not there,

We can’t just not care,

As ignorance can be as cruel.


My apologies for posting a link with so many terrible adverts but the content of the page is what inspired the above.

Cold Feet

When my feet get too chilly
I can look quite silly
As I wrap them both up
In a scarf.

My shoes do not fit
Not even a bit
And they get soaked right through
From the grass.

Then water gets in
Not quite under my skin
But it feels like the ice
Gets in there.

Perhaps when I leave,
I should retrieve
Not one scarf
But maybe a pair.

Some shoes would be nice
Then blocks of ice,
My feet surely then
wouldn’t become.

But my house is remote,
In fact it’s a boat,
Which explains where the water
Comes from.

Not grass as it were
But a sea I do stir
When I tickle my feet
In the water.

Not a walk in the park
But swimming with sharks,
Would explain why my legs
Are much shorter.

A pile of toenails.

A pile of toenails
In my bed
Could I compare them
To a horses head?

I don’t know
But I will anyway
So let’s get prepared
To compare away.

One I could kiss
The other, I couldn’t
We’ll I suppose that I could
But I’m sure that I wouldn’t.

One has hair
But is oozing with blood
The other is dry
Which I suppose is quite good.

This morning it’s Friday,
It’s been a long week
I hope that this madness
Has reached its peak.

If I find another
Of your gifts in my bed
I’ll come and leave flowers
For you instead.

Because if I leave
A trick not a treat,
Things will escalate
And problems repeat.

So thanks for the gifts
Especially the lard
But maybe next time,
Just give me a card.

In the quietest part of the day

In the quietest part of the day,
Your dreams all hurry away,
You’re left with closed eyes,
But to your surprise,
You open them up anyway.

As you water the plants on your skin,
The rain pours but never gets in,
But under that hair,
Is the organ where,
Your ideas run thick and thin.

In the quietest part of the day,
We can think whatever we may,
For that time is ours,
There are no powers,
Turning all of our thoughts to grey.

So during the time that’s yours,
Enjoy the rain that pours,
And think of the people,
With brains filled with treacle,
And think colourful wonderful thoughts.

Better late than never.

I hope you are all wonderfully happy this year and you had the best holidays you could have!

I have taken a step into the future and got an iPad for Christmas which is completely blowing my tiny mind.

I have downloaded the wordpress app so this year I’m sure you won’t be able to get rid of me.

I have been back in Spain since the 30th of December and I had the 1st and 6th off which was great.

On Sunday I went to see the three kings parade which is probably one of the strangest things I have seen in the streets of Lugo.

Basically some drumming Romans got chased down the street by three blokes on floats dressed as Santa. These chaps I think represent the three wisemen. But then they had little helpers who looked like elves angrily throwing sweets at people which I thought was pretty funny. At the end no one clapped and I wasn’t sure if it was over but I think it was.

For New Years Eve my boss invited me to spend midnight eating grapes with his family which was amazing and everyone was so lovely to me. I had met some of his family before from when they had been around the academy where I work but outside they were all very happy to see me and I saw in the new year in such a lovely way. I’m very grateful!

After this I went to a party which I had been invited to by one of my adult students and as far as I can remember, I had a really good time. It’s hard to be specific but I definitely remember a point about six in the morning singing Auld Lang Syne for some Spanish people who thought I was mad but that didn’t matter. I continued regardless, better late than never. I don’t have many traditions but that is one I like. The words are sometimes slightly improvised but the tune stays the same.

Much like my face, sometimes I will have no idea what I’m saying, but I’ll probably be saying it with a smile.

This year is the year I will write as many letters as is humanly possible because writing this blog is a lovely way to share my experiences but the problem is, when I get home, I never have any idea what other people have been up to. So I’m going to do a Voldemort and split my soul a bazillion times (I’m more ambitious than Voldemort) and not kill anyone but instead just let them know what I’ve been up to.

The problem is I want to stealthily retrieve peoples addresses without getting arrested. There’s no such thing as a surprise any more, we’ll unless you’ve never seen the three
kings parade before…