These words are the property of clever people. I'm just trying to put them in order.

Month: April, 2014

The lost package.

I sent a package,
In the post,
It travels
Like a drunken ghost.

Gone and lost,
No one knows,
Where my whiskied
Package goes.

I know what
I’ll make a stand,
And send a foot,
Not another hand.


The wasp assassin.

This time next week,
I’ll be sat on a beach
and eating my lunch in the sand.

I’ll eat my food slow
And no place I’ll go
But just lie there with fruit in my hand.

And the wasps will sneak up
To drink from my cup
But I’m wise so I’ll kill them all dead.

The cup contains water
Here flies the queens daughter
And I’ll have no stings on my head.

The man about town.

There’s a man about town,
He has no need to frown,
He helps other people
Who sometimes fall down.

This makes him smile
And it stays for a while,
Because helping others
Makes him feel like a child.

He doesn’t have worries
But a bag of solutions,
If you have some problems,
Then he’ll help you lose them.

Drinking from a watering can

Drinking from a watering can,
Is easy when you think you can.

But drinking from a watering can’t,
Is harder when you think you shan’t.

I like drinking from a shoe,
It’s the most down-to-earth drink to do.

Drinking from a woolly hat,
Can make your head feel light and fat.

But drinking from the tap!!!!
Find a glass, lazy. I’ll draw you a map!

I helped make beer

Beer is good
Beer is fun
If you make your own
Then you always have some.

I helped my friend
Hop to the task
We boiled the broth
And poured it in casks.

The strangest thing
Is it takes two weeks.
Then you put it in bottles
And you let the brew sleep.

And when you open the bottle one day
A beery butterfly comes out to play.
The yeasty caterpillar that sleeps
Turns into a bubbly friend for your teeth.

And I think to myself.
In two weeks time,
Where will I be,
What thoughts will be mine?

So as my beer sits there,
It learns of my fate
The two weeks it sits there
It learns while it waits.

In a world that is changing
Every day
My beer is no different
But how will I change?

Hickory dickory dock

Hickory dickory dock,
A lamb has left the flock.
It ran away
From the farm one day
To not become a chop.

The man at the pub.

The once was a man at the pub,
Who often would bring his bear cub,
One day it broke free,
And bit off the knee,
Of a man who was left with a stub.

It’s cloudy again

It’s cloudy again,
With expected rain
No one would think
That I live in Spain.

But there we go,
The winds will blow
I’ll wear a raincoat
‘Coz you never do know.

Dress like an onion,
Smile like a cat,
Wear lots of jumpers
And nice wooly hats.

The weather is cold,
But it can get quite hot,
You’ll find yourself de-robe
In public a lot.

If you don’t like the weather,
Don’t panic or cry
Because it’ll change in a minute,
And you’ll see a blue sky.

Fashionably late

I’m fashionably late, but in I’ll skate, a cup of tea in my hand.
I make with honey, which some find quite funny,
But others will understand.

‘Would you like toast? I have bread’ I’ll boast
And I also have butter too.
If you want honey, I’ll find you quite funny
But I never will laugh at you.