Face your fears live your dreams.

by justbekozlowski

Since the end of June I have been on my summer holidays from Spain. Which is fantastic, although it sounds a bit backwards. Working on foreign soils gives you a chance to treat home as a holiday even if there are thunderstorms. Sometimes you just have to embrace the climate differences as ‘exotic’.

So far I have been visiting friends and family, reading a tremendous amount of books and going running despite currently having problems with both of my knees. This means I can only run sometimes. I have faced one problem that I never had before, no one else is having their summer holidays. All my friends are working which makes me feel terrible and incredibly lucky at the same time. This has led to me yearning for a project or goal to work at, towards or on. Also this weekend, I had the misfortune of having a traffic cone kicked at my already injured knee by a complete stranger (thanks for that) so running is no longer a viable option.

One of these is writing more poetry ( which I have done in my notebook and some will find their way onto the internet). The second is something which I am inexplicably afraid of. Now for many years I have been a musician, I have played gigs, open mics, and played for friends and strangers alike in various situations. I have no problem with any of these. But I am absolutely terrified of busking. I don’t know why. Perhaps it’s the scene from ‘Once’ where Glen Hansard gets his guitar case nicked and has to chase the man while his guitar dangles around his neck. I don’t know why but it’s driving me mad. So while I am back in the UK, I will go busking. I’m going to practise this afternoon and hopefully if we get another stonker of a day tomorrow the I will hit the sunny streets of Bristol to play my banjo for passers by.

This is my declaration of my intention to become a busker. I have been busking before but I wasn’t comfortable, therefore I hope I can overcome this and sing as I would for friends, or in a gig environment. There we are, it’s in the public sphere so I now have to do it. If you see me then come and say hi. If you have any tips then send them my way. I don’t know anybody else who has or has had this problem so I’m just going to go for it. I may fail but I will continue to try. As they say, ‘Where there’s a Will there’s a way’ and my cousin is called Will so that’s probably a good sign.

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