These words are the property of clever people. I'm just trying to put them in order.

Month: June, 2016

The odd man who can’t speak.

The odd man who can’t speak,
Is not such a freak,
He just doesn’t know what to say.

If he opens his mouth,
Some words will come out,
But he’s frightened he’ll scare you a way.

He might say a joke,
Or talk about purple egg yolks,
But that’s not to say he’s mad.

To some he seems odd,
But he might just be God,
And his little old world makes him sad


A man with a beard

A man with a beard can be easily steered,
By yanking the side of his face,
If this doesn’t work, then give his ears a jerk,
And you’ll notice him pick up the pace.

Facial hair was grown for ladies,
Who couldn’t afford a steed,
They’d sit on their man’s shoulders,
Smiling as he’d plead:

‘Please stop pulling my beard hair!’
‘That’s it! I’m going to shave!’
‘That really hurts my darling!
A rest is just what I crave!’

But the women would ride them daily,
All around the town,
The men would take them up the hill;
They’re faces covered with frowns,

They’d wince at one another
As they’re beards were pulled so tight
They’d pass in painful silence
As the women cooee-ed with delight.

Now look, a beard in the modern day,
Is not the same of course,
But some men boast of their physical strength,
And it’s still cheaper than a horse…

I’d forgotten how to write.

I’d forgotten how to write,

So I picked up my trusty pen,

It squirted ink all over me,

So I put it down again.


I’d forgotten how to laugh,

So my friend told me a joke,

A strange gurgling sound began,

Then I realised it was a choke.


I’d forgotten how to walk,

So I stood on my own two feet,

I fell over a number of times,

So now I write this in the street.


Now you may think this poem,

A sad story of woe,

But I’m already remembering things I forgot,

Just three verses ago.