Walk in the fields,
And run through the streets,
If you move too slowly,
Many people you will meet.
Like Sandy from accounts,
Martin from the agency,
Also John, who works for the mayor,
There’s tulip who kneads the flour,
And Pete who earns at the bank,
Please don’t forget Jemima, who’s an excellent football player.
What I mean to say is,
Make sure whatever you do,
Be as rude as possible in cities,
To everyone who almost meets you.
Because if you’re nice to people,
They’ll only be nice right back,
And then you’ll end up making friends,
Which makes Christmas a panic attack.
However will you write,
Cards for a thousand friends?
So remember to just be nasty,
And hope that you’ll never meet again.